9/11 - My Birthday

I have seen numerous 9/11 shows and news casts about 9/11 already since it is the 10th anniversary. Since that day, I always get the same response when asked what my birthday is...."oh, I'm so sorry. It has to suck to have that day as your birthday." But, if you go back far enough in history, something bad has happened on every day. I don't view 9/11 as the worst day. Now 9/11/01 was a very bad day not only for America, but for me as well.

Ten years ago, I was turning 24 and I was at home losing a baby. I ended up having to get a D&C on 9/14 because the bleeding would not stop. Now for those of you who have lost babies, you know how horribly painful the entire process is. Not only just physically, although it really can be, but also the mental anguish you feel is just almost too much.

So I was at home curled up in bed with a heating pad with Good Morning America on TV. Once the first tower was hit, they immediately switched the camera to the scene. And a few minutes later, I watched live as the plane flew into the 2nd tower. It was horrific. I actually saw the footage that they refuse to show now where you could actually see people jumping out of the building. I truly can't imagine how horrifying of a choice that was. One of my former friends (that's another story) came over that morning to see how I was doing and he was there when the Pentagon was hit and when the plane went down in PA.

So 9/11/01 did SUCK, but I refuse to let every 9/11 suck. I refuse to let the horrifying events of one day taint my birthday every year. I still try to stop at 8:46 AM every 9/11 to take the time to remember the heroes and everyday people who lost their lives because I truly think these people deserve that respect. But today, I will do that and I will bask in the utter joy of hearing my DD sing "Happy Birthday, Mommy"!!! And I hope you guys have a very good 9/11 too.

Grey's Anatomy

John and I decided to drop our satellite late last year to save money. We have the digital cable converter so we get maybe 20 or so channels, but there still isn't a whole lot that we want to watch. We have been watching TV shows on DVD that we already have. Grey's is one of my favorites and I've probably watched Season 1-6 at least 5 times since we dropped it. It's one of those shows that I can put on and surf the internet, read blogs or write blogs or go to sleep at the same time.

DD who turns 2 on 9/22 is addicted to Grey's. Isn't that hilarious? Last night she wanted me to turn it on, but we have been watching that Karaoke show on ABC so I wasn't going to put it on at all. She actually started crying and begging to watch Grey's...and she pronounces it Gays. It cracks us up. As soon as we walk in the house at night some nights she'll come in, take her shoes off, find something to drink and either go in the living room and ask for Elmo or Annie or she'll run to our bedroom and climb on the bed and scream, Gay's Mommy!!!!

Doesn't have anything to do with Celia, but how ironic is it that on July 11th I was sick and at home in the bed watching Grey's. For those of you who don't know, I took my mom to the ER on 7/12 and she was diagnosed w/ a malignant brain tumor. Would anyone like to guess what episode/season I was watching the day before???? The season where Derrick and Meredith do their clinical trial on glioblastoma brain tumors. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was sitting in the cafeteria at Duke two days later with John talking about it. It just completely freaked me out.

Celia and I just watched an episode a few minutes ago after her nap and we'll probably watch a few more tonight. It could be worse..... I also like Trueblood, but won't watch it with her home.

WW - well almost

I told you guys I had planned to get family pics done and it finally happened Saturday. My SIL couldn't come and we missed her, but everyone else was there. My cousin Diane did these for us and I have only seen a few, but I LOVE them all.
I can't guarantee that they will upload easily. They might be huge or tiny, but here they come:

I have been slack

I know I have been slack with posts lately. Thanks to all of you who continue to read and comment. Both Celia and I had strep last week so that contributed to not posting last week. This week I was just catching up at work and at home. I did go w/ my mom to a dr appt Wednesday. So far so good with the treatment. She is very tired and weak, but she seemed in better spirits when I saw her this week. I stayed away last week because I didn't want to get her sick.

I have a cousin, who is starting her own photography business coming in this Saturday to do some family pics. I can't wait. I hope they turn out great and that my mom doesn't feel self-conscious. I'll post them on here, but check out Diane's link.

Sadly I had to relinquish my mom's cat to the vet Wednesday. I can't take her in because (1) my husband would kill me, (2) we're away too much for a new kitty to adjust easily and (3) she was peeing and pooping on the beds at my parents. My mom is an animal lover like I am, but Inky had been throwing up fairly regularaly even before my mom got sick. After my mom got sick, she started refusing to use the litter box (AT ALL). My dad was going to take her to the animal shelter, but I knew they would automatically euthanize her and they use the gas chamber. I just can't stand the thought of that. I much prefer the use of injections. My parents' can't afford to have to worry about washing the sheets on three different beds EVERY DAY. I am hoping that it is an easily fixable problem and that they can change her food and environment and Inky will thrive.

One treatment down, thirty seven to go

Yesterday was my mom's first treatment. I took off work to go with my dad and it is a good thing. I love my dad with all of my heart and soul, but he doesn't handle stress very well. Of course since it was the first day of treatment, things were not going to go smoothly. We did her blood work first and then went straight over to get the radiation. It didn't take long and we left to go home an hour after her appt time.

We got her out of the car and up the steps at my parent's when my grandmother came running out saying that my brother (who works at the hospital) had called and we needed to come back for the Avastin IV. This was initially supposed to start a few weeks after the radiation, but since the radiation was postponed earlier, they wanted to go ahead and get that started. Daddy didn't even remember them telling us that she would get the Avastin.

He got so upset. I literally made him leave after we got back. I don't mean to make him sound worse, but yells when he is emotional about things. I really do love him and my DH will tell you that I am just like him. We don't have the same opinion on things, but we will both argue our points until we are blue in the face. But today wasn't the time for it. My mom didn't need to have to worry about Daddy losing it. He has been amazing with her since this began. I truly can't imagine what he is feeling watching her go through this. I know my world would be rocked if it were my spouse.

Here is a beautiful song that has made me cry every time I listen to it. This sums up how I feel and how I imagine Daddy is feeling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iyU4S7yHFo&feature=share

One More Month

I am completely blown away that my baby girl will be 2 in one month. She is at such a fun age, but I still miss my baby. It seems like yesterday that I had this beauty:

WW - A few recent pics of DD