Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Never Too Old....
to want my mommy. I turn 35 next Tuesday and all I want is too see my mom healthy and vibrant again. I know that I have vented on here before, but I just feel cheated. I never got to have that last big conversation with her before we knew she was sick. We had a few very serious conversations after she got sick, but the brain tumor had already taken so much of her that it wasn't the same. For you see in five months (including the month before the tumor was found), we got to experience what in Alzheimer's/dementia takes years. She wasn't the same person anymore.
I still struggle even 10 months since her death. Maybe I finally need to cave and get on some anti-depressants. I just want to be able to complain about her or to be able to pick up the phone and call her first thing in the morning to tell her about my dream. So please if your mom is still alive, do it now. Tell her everything you think you would want to say if it was her/your last day on earth. Because I know all too well that it very well may be.
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Its been almost six years since I lost my mother to a brain tumor as well...and I STILL find myself reaching for the phone to call her and chat about things going on in my life, or things her grandson is doing. I wish so badly I could tell you it gets easier, but not a day goes by that I don't feel that void.
ReplyDeleteSending ((HUGS)) and love to you... My mom is actually on her way over here. She visits every Wednesday evening after she gets off from work while my husband and my dad play tennis. I will give her an extra hug this evening for you. <3
ReplyDeleteWe do sometimes forget how precious and fleeting life can be.
I think it is so healthy that you are able to write about and express all of your anger, hurt and emotions on here. I wish that your mother could be here with you...and able to have spent your birthday with you.
ReplyDeleteAlways in my prayers.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and get to relax.
Sending love!!
Xoxox
Maria