Sunday, September 25, 2011


I just looked across the room and laughed. Celia was coming down the hall wearing red/pink & black striped pants w/ a grey and hot pink elmo shirt, a pink hat w/ a purple peace sign and brown and pink polka dot dress shoes. I shook my head laughing and then looked down. I have a red elmo shirt on with white, blue and teal striped pj pants and carolina blue flip flops. Like mother like daughter I guess.

Celia is TWO

We took Cecelia to her 2 yr well baby visit. She is in the 50 percentile for her height and head circumference and once again off the chart for her weight. She is 34" long and weighs 21 lbs 10 oz. We knew she would at least be 22lbs, but no such luck. She of course has been sick 3 out of the last 4 weeks so her weight always drops when that happens. We aren't that concerned as she has hit all of her developmental milestones on time or early and she is still growing lengthwise. She's just skinny. And we love her just the same. We do have to take her back in 6 months because they want to make sure that she doesn't drop anymore or any further off of the chart.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Praying things get better

My mom had another appointment with the oncologist yesterday. I didn't go because I have to take off Friday for DD's 2 year well-baby visit (will post those stats later). They did some lab work on her and she was extremely dehydrated. Her BP was at 80/40 and she has been complaining of vertigo. The dr told them that she was dizzy because she was so dehydrated. They gave her 2 bags of fluid and also gave her two prescriptions. One antidepressant and one stimulant to help keep her awake during the day.

I am hoping and praying that this will make her feel better. I hope that she realizes how much better she feels after getting the fluid and starts to drink more and more. She was drinking around 48oz of water when treatment started and I would guess that she is now down to less than 16oz. She just keeps saying that she isn't hungry or thirsty, but if something doesn't change I have a feeling that they will admit her. I tried talking with her last night, but I don't know if I got through to her.

I am just asking all of you reading to please pray. Pray that she starts doing what she needs to do to get better. Pray that she feels at least slightly better so that she can tell a difference when she's hydrated. Pray that my dad and grandmother keep their patience. Pray that God will lay his healing hand upon her. Pray that He gives me the strength I need to help her get through this. Pray that He gives me the wisdom to talk to her about Him because I want my family with me in eternity. PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!!!!

My husband's picture smile

Ha! John argue and tells me that I am just giving him a hard time about his picture smile. Check out some of the pics on the next two blog posts and tell me if anyone else agrees.

Monday, September 19, 2011

A Rough Week

Last week was rough with my mom. My DD was sick at the beginning of the week so I stayed away from my mom all week to avoid getting her sick. It is so hard to do this because I feel that I need to spend as much time with her now, but I can't take the chance of getting her sick.

My heart breaks more and more every day. I talked to Ma (my grandmother) on the phone quite a bit last week. My mom is doing less and less each day. I know she has got to be exhausted, but I just don't believe that she will get better if she keeps going the way she is going currently. Saturday, I got to their house around 2 and she had just gotten out of bed at 12:30. She was in the living room when I was there, but she was asking to go to bed by 5 or 5:30 when I left. Yesterday, we had Celia's birthday party (pics to come later) and she didn't come. My brother couldn't even get her to get up and brush her teeth. She had gone back to lay down around 11:30 yesterday morning and never got up. When my dad got back from the party around 3 or 3:30 she asked him to help put her gown on.

She talks less and less. We all try our best to get her to talk. She will answer questions, but other than that, she doesn't participate in a conversation. She talks more with friends who come to visit and that is fine. I wish this would happen more often. It doesn't hurt my feelings that she interacts more with friends. I think part of that is she wants to appear to others as doing fairly well and she doesn't have to do that with us. I don't know if it is depression or if it is just the location of the tumor.

I hope and pray that I am wrong and I am begging you guys to continue to pray for us. I just don't know right now if I truly believe that she will be alive at Christmas.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I'm a football widow

Ask my husband what his favorite season is and he'll answer honestly: FOOTBALL season. Ha!! I love him and I love the fact that he is passionate about something. We have season tickets for Appalachian State Football. I usually don't go because they make them day trips and 6.5 hours of driving isn't that much fun for me. We're going to take Celia to a game at some point in the season, hopefully.

Here's us at a game on Halloween 2008

He always laughs at me dreading football. It isn't just that I dread missing him on Saturdays during football season, although I do, it is the 2.5 hour phone calls that happen at least twice during the week (and sometimes more) with is brother so they can talk about football. Now John and Justin both go to the games so they have 6.5 hours on Saturday of just riding in the car that they can talk about football. you would think this would be enough, but it isn't. I honestly can't imagine talking that long about anything and I really do mean anything. LOL!!! Love them both....

Oh and did I forget to mention that he played football for a year at App quite a few years ago. (don't tell him I hacked into his FB account to steal this pic....we'll have to see if he actually reads my blog)

Monday, September 12, 2011

Birthday Festivities

My MIL - Rhonda had a birthday dinner at her house yesterday and invited all of my immediately family as well. I can't express how much it truly meant to have my mom there. It is so bittersweet. I know that I should just try to enjoy every single second I have with her, but it is so easy to just become lost in the moment. All I could think about is that it might be the last birthday she's alive to celebrate with me. God willing that won't happen, but it is so hard to even imagine. Once again, Rhonda, I don't think I can express how much your willingness to pick Cecelia up every day, your concern for making sure my parents have food to eat and your willingness to hold everything at your house means to me. I know that to some these things seem trivial, but they are what matters most in moments of need.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11 - My Birthday

I have seen numerous 9/11 shows and news casts about 9/11 already since it is the 10th anniversary. Since that day, I always get the same response when asked what my birthday is...."oh, I'm so sorry. It has to suck to have that day as your birthday." But, if you go back far enough in history, something bad has happened on every day. I don't view 9/11 as the worst day. Now 9/11/01 was a very bad day not only for America, but for me as well.

Ten years ago, I was turning 24 and I was at home losing a baby. I ended up having to get a D&C on 9/14 because the bleeding would not stop. Now for those of you who have lost babies, you know how horribly painful the entire process is. Not only just physically, although it really can be, but also the mental anguish you feel is just almost too much.

So I was at home curled up in bed with a heating pad with Good Morning America on TV. Once the first tower was hit, they immediately switched the camera to the scene. And a few minutes later, I watched live as the plane flew into the 2nd tower. It was horrific. I actually saw the footage that they refuse to show now where you could actually see people jumping out of the building. I truly can't imagine how horrifying of a choice that was. One of my former friends (that's another story) came over that morning to see how I was doing and he was there when the Pentagon was hit and when the plane went down in PA.

So 9/11/01 did SUCK, but I refuse to let every 9/11 suck. I refuse to let the horrifying events of one day taint my birthday every year. I still try to stop at 8:46 AM every 9/11 to take the time to remember the heroes and everyday people who lost their lives because I truly think these people deserve that respect. But today, I will do that and I will bask in the utter joy of hearing my DD sing "Happy Birthday, Mommy"!!! And I hope you guys have a very good 9/11 too.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Grey's Anatomy

John and I decided to drop our satellite late last year to save money. We have the digital cable converter so we get maybe 20 or so channels, but there still isn't a whole lot that we want to watch. We have been watching TV shows on DVD that we already have. Grey's is one of my favorites and I've probably watched Season 1-6 at least 5 times since we dropped it. It's one of those shows that I can put on and surf the internet, read blogs or write blogs or go to sleep at the same time.

DD who turns 2 on 9/22 is addicted to Grey's. Isn't that hilarious? Last night she wanted me to turn it on, but we have been watching that Karaoke show on ABC so I wasn't going to put it on at all. She actually started crying and begging to watch Grey's...and she pronounces it Gays. It cracks us up. As soon as we walk in the house at night some nights she'll come in, take her shoes off, find something to drink and either go in the living room and ask for Elmo or Annie or she'll run to our bedroom and climb on the bed and scream, Gay's Mommy!!!!

Doesn't have anything to do with Celia, but how ironic is it that on July 11th I was sick and at home in the bed watching Grey's. For those of you who don't know, I took my mom to the ER on 7/12 and she was diagnosed w/ a malignant brain tumor. Would anyone like to guess what episode/season I was watching the day before???? The season where Derrick and Meredith do their clinical trial on glioblastoma brain tumors. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was sitting in the cafeteria at Duke two days later with John talking about it. It just completely freaked me out.

Celia and I just watched an episode a few minutes ago after her nap and we'll probably watch a few more tonight. It could be worse..... I also like Trueblood, but won't watch it with her home.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

WW - well almost

I told you guys I had planned to get family pics done and it finally happened Saturday. My SIL couldn't come and we missed her, but everyone else was there. My cousin Diane did these for us and I have only seen a few, but I LOVE them all.
I can't guarantee that they will upload easily. They might be huge or tiny, but here they come:

Friday, September 2, 2011

I have been slack

I know I have been slack with posts lately. Thanks to all of you who continue to read and comment. Both Celia and I had strep last week so that contributed to not posting last week. This week I was just catching up at work and at home. I did go w/ my mom to a dr appt Wednesday. So far so good with the treatment. She is very tired and weak, but she seemed in better spirits when I saw her this week. I stayed away last week because I didn't want to get her sick.

I have a cousin, who is starting her own photography business coming in this Saturday to do some family pics. I can't wait. I hope they turn out great and that my mom doesn't feel self-conscious. I'll post them on here, but check out Diane's link.

Sadly I had to relinquish my mom's cat to the vet Wednesday. I can't take her in because (1) my husband would kill me, (2) we're away too much for a new kitty to adjust easily and (3) she was peeing and pooping on the beds at my parents. My mom is an animal lover like I am, but Inky had been throwing up fairly regularaly even before my mom got sick. After my mom got sick, she started refusing to use the litter box (AT ALL). My dad was going to take her to the animal shelter, but I knew they would automatically euthanize her and they use the gas chamber. I just can't stand the thought of that. I much prefer the use of injections. My parents' can't afford to have to worry about washing the sheets on three different beds EVERY DAY. I am hoping that it is an easily fixable problem and that they can change her food and environment and Inky will thrive.