I have been struggling with a lot lately. I am so very lucky and blessed to have a beautiful 21mo baby girl. I dreamed of her for years. I also still struggle with dreaming of a sibling for her. And maybe it is simply because I have gone through so much CRAP lately, but I am struggling with Cecelia right now. She doesn't want me to come near her these days. Now she is all about Mommy at night when it is bedtime, but other than that she absolutely screams her head off if I try to touch her. I know this sounds completely and utterly ridiculous, but it really hurts my feelings. Her regualr baby-sitter is on vacay this week so our parents are keeping her. My mom has had her Mon - today and John's parents will have her tomorrow and Friday. MIL has been taking her to VBS this week before she brings her to our house.
When she got there last night she literally lost her mind when I tried to hug her. I sat down on the couch with her for a second and she literally went insane. DH tries to help and calm her down, but she just won't with me. He sat down beside me while I was holding her and told her to give Mommy a hug. She said "No, I don't want it" so then he told her to tell me that she loved me and she said, "I don't, I won't" and proceeded to slap me in the face. Like I said I know it sounds insane, but I don't know how to deal with it. Please tell me that I am not alone in this struggle. I literally ended up in the bathroom crying last night. I think she hates me.
Is it just a stage that all little ones go through or should I prepare myself for a long hard road??
hmmm... well i know with my boys they didnt hit this sort of phase until much later, like age 4? and it wasnt really a "i dont want to" it was "im to big for mommy hugs" and they would try to act all grown up, but in the end would hug me with a sly grin.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she is sensing your discontentness with having only one child right now? I think kids can pick up on that stuff... and I know that you are totally happy and blessed with having Cecelia ... but part of you is wishing for another, and maybe she knows it? i dont know if that even makes sense... or its possible that the change in schedule and sitters may be upsetting her routine. VBS btw always wears my kids out, its why we only do one a year if possible, even tho theres a ton of churches around here that offer it... its just to much for them.
any who.. just be calm... give her space, and try not to think abt getting pregnant again... with taite we tried for a year solid and had a miscarriage during that year.. i remember having such a hard time connecting with caleb during that time because i wasnt content with what i had.. it wasnt until i let that go and just gave up on getting pregnant, that the Lord finally did bless me with another...
im not saying that will happen every time... but stressing over becoming pregnant doesnt make it any easier, only harder.
hang in there!
I'm guessing it's the stress of having a different babysitter. And maybe it's her way of saying she really needs you MORE? She's spending so much time with other people, she may be confused about her feelings.
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