My Dearest Daughter

I almost can't put into words how much I love you. I just want to write this down so that I can read it in my darkest moments. From this day forward, I promise that when I am mad, I will count to 10 before talking to you. I know that Mommy has been short tempered lately. There are no excuses. I have reasons, but no excuses. My own Mom died 4.5 months ago. Since the day I took her to the ER, I have become someone different. My emotions have been all over the board. I can be perfectly fine one second and the next I can cry uncontrollably and scream. None of this is your fault. It is so hard for me to come to terms with the loss of Mama. But once again, that isn't your fault. The best thing I can do is let you know that I will try to be the Mommy you deserve. I have a hard time remembering that you are only 2.5. You are so articulate and speak in sentences so it is easy to forget that you are still a toddler in the throes of the terrible twos. You are the sweetest, most loving little girl. I know that your behavior is the norm for your age and I am so very sorry that I lose my temper with you. Mommy is so very sorry that I scare you sometimes because I snap and yell. It isn't your fault and I just want you to know. I'm sure that I won't be perfect, but I don't think there is a perfect Mommy, but I will try. I Love You, you beautiful baby girl!!!