Friday, May 6, 2011

Am I alone???

I wonder if I am the only person who wonders what in the heck goes through someone's mind before they speak to you about your miscarriage. It hasn't been that bad this time, mainly because I didn't tell too many people, but the last time it was horrible.
I did have a bad experience this morning though in her defense I know she didn't mean it, but it didn't make me feel much better about it though.

I had to get some blood work Wed to make sure my hormone levels had gone back down to completely normal or if I would need meds or a D&C. The conversation w/ the nurse this morning went like this:

Her: Hi, Joy?? This is Dr S's nurse. We have your results in.
Me: OK, what are they.
Her: Your HCG level is completely normal at 0.
Me: OK, thanks. (what is the right response to that?)
Her: You are very welcome. You have a fabulous day and a wonderful Mother's Day.

Really??? Sorry you lost your baby, but enjoy your weekend. ??????????????


  1. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss! People can be so insensitive. It astounds me!

    All my best ~

    Baby Talk without the Babble

  2. Funny because I actually wrote a blog post about this very thing...

    It is amazing the things that come out of people's mouths when they feel uncomfortable with a situation (like miscarriage). Sometimes the best thing is just to say, "I am so sorry. I am here if you need anything."

  3. The only thing I will say Joy is be very careful to not let bitterness take over. I struggled with this A LOT after we lost our 1st at 3 months. I had two friends who I walked with every day of that pregnancy who were both pregnant too... both a couple months in front of my pregnancy... and after I lost my baby I continued to walk with them... and they would continue to talk abt their pregnancies and I remember one time one of the girls went on and on abt how upset she was she gained so much weight a certain month.. and I remember having such a bitterness towards her over this.. thinking "what an ungrateful person she is...." - and how I would of done anything to still have my baby, even if it meant taking her weight on as well as my own. I just couldnt see past anything but my own loss and I remember hating her for this.

    I try to be extra sensitive around those in my life who have lost a baby, because i know 1st hand how hard it is... but I also know what comes with bitterness... and I was so wrong in my thinking towards this young lady...

    I should of rejoiced in the blessing she had...

    Her son is a year or so older than Caleb and is autistic... she had a really hard time from what I heard thru the other girl we walked with... I lost touch with her after the pregnancy and didnt want much to do with her because of my bitterness... I feel like a lousy friend now and hate I was like that.

    Im praying for you and your loss.. I know its not easy.. but I am also praying that you dont let bitterness into your heart like I did... because that is not the right way to go abt things either.

    Love you Joy! Soak up that Cecelia love tomorrow...