Friday, May 6, 2011

Am I alone???

I wonder if I am the only person who wonders what in the heck goes through someone's mind before they speak to you about your miscarriage. It hasn't been that bad this time, mainly because I didn't tell too many people, but the last time it was horrible.
I did have a bad experience this morning though in her defense I know she didn't mean it, but it didn't make me feel much better about it though.

I had to get some blood work Wed to make sure my hormone levels had gone back down to completely normal or if I would need meds or a D&C. The conversation w/ the nurse this morning went like this:

Her: Hi, Joy?? This is Dr S's nurse. We have your results in.
Me: OK, what are they.
Her: Your HCG level is completely normal at 0.
Me: OK, thanks. (what is the right response to that?)
Her: You are very welcome. You have a fabulous day and a wonderful Mother's Day.

Really??? Sorry you lost your baby, but enjoy your weekend. ??????????????

3 comments:

  1. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss! People can be so insensitive. It astounds me!

    All my best ~

    Baby Talk without the Babble

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  2. Funny because I actually wrote a blog post about this very thing...

    http://thepreggofoodie.blogspot.com/2011/03/there-are-no-words-yes-there-are-not-so.html

    It is amazing the things that come out of people's mouths when they feel uncomfortable with a situation (like miscarriage). Sometimes the best thing is just to say, "I am so sorry. I am here if you need anything."

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  3. The only thing I will say Joy is be very careful to not let bitterness take over. I struggled with this A LOT after we lost our 1st at 3 months. I had two friends who I walked with every day of that pregnancy who were both pregnant too... both a couple months in front of my pregnancy... and after I lost my baby I continued to walk with them... and they would continue to talk abt their pregnancies and I remember one time one of the girls went on and on abt how upset she was she gained so much weight a certain month.. and I remember having such a bitterness towards her over this.. thinking "what an ungrateful person she is...." - and how I would of done anything to still have my baby, even if it meant taking her weight on as well as my own. I just couldnt see past anything but my own loss and I remember hating her for this.

    I try to be extra sensitive around those in my life who have lost a baby, because i know 1st hand how hard it is... but I also know what comes with bitterness... and I was so wrong in my thinking towards this young lady...

    I should of rejoiced in the blessing she had...

    Her son is a year or so older than Caleb and is autistic... she had a really hard time from what I heard thru the other girl we walked with... I lost touch with her after the pregnancy and didnt want much to do with her because of my bitterness... I feel like a lousy friend now and hate I was like that.

    Im praying for you and your loss.. I know its not easy.. but I am also praying that you dont let bitterness into your heart like I did... because that is not the right way to go abt things either.

    Love you Joy! Soak up that Cecelia love tomorrow...

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