This has been a sad weekend. It has been good, but I have been sad. Most days, I am OK, but for some reason not the past few.
I finally went back to church. I have been looking forward to it, but dreading too. Its not that I didn't want to go back, but I am always so much more emotional at church. I have a wonderful church family at Rehoboth United Methodist Church and I love them all. They are very supportive to everyone who steps in the door. Some months we have one Sunday that we have just a musical service and that was today.
I did really well until the pastor's wife (who has an absolutely beautiful voice) sang. Josh, the pastor, accompanied her at the piano and it was beautiful. They re-started after determining the microphone wasn't on and when they started again, I lost it. It is moments like that when the emotion that I usually keep private comes pouring out.
Because I know when I enter the gates of heaven, I will have three little blessings waiting for me. I have one here on earth that makes me breathe every day, but there are three more up there. And for that, I am ready. Those of you who walk w/ me in this loss, know what I mean. I long for that day when I am reunited. It doesn't make miscarriage and loss any easier, but as a Christian I at least know that I will be reunited. And I thank God every day that I know this.