Tuesday, May 3, 2011

hello and goodbye in a little over a week

Last Saturday night (4/23) I found out I was pregnant. Three positive tests at home and two at the dr office Monday were all positive. This was a complete and utter shock. I was on BC and we weren't trying at all. I didn't have a good feeling about this because my boobs are ALWAYS killing me during pregnancy. BADLY!!! This time, not at all. I was exhausted and queazy, but I had a horrible URI so that could have been attributed to that. I spotted for a little while one day last week, but had no cramping. Unfortunately it came back Sunday, but this time w/ pain. I had my DH take me to the ER Monday morning. By this time, I knew what was happening. I had two miscarriage 10 years ago. I am at such a different place emotionally than I was then. I almost had an emotional breakdown the last time I went through this. I think part of it is the fact that I have a 19mo to take care of. I can't fall apart during this. She keeps me going.

I have been pregnant four times and I have one child. I wonder some times whether this is my destiny. You want to know the most ironic thing about the whole thing? 9/11/01, which happened to be my 24th birthday and I was at home having a miscarriage while watching the terror attacks. This time 5/1, while Osama Bin Laden was being killed, I was at home having a miscarriage. Oh the irony.....

Please keep me in your t&ps. I am still dealing w/ the physical CRAP that goes along w/ a miscarriage.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry about your miscarriage(s), even if you were not trying I am sure it is still so hard. I am glad that you are sharing your story, I hope that your challenges help someone else going through the same thing.

    You are blessed to have one beautiful child.