I am having more good days than bad, but here's an account of a hard day:
Friday was a really bad day. Don’t really know why. They don’t always make sense, but I just had a hard day. Lost my dern mind sitting at my desk that afternoon and had to walk out for a little while. That night we were just hanging out and John decided to look at our older, smaller digital camera. He hooked it up to our TV to show look at some of the videos w/ sound. He went through quite a few and then he got to one I took the day Celia started walking. Mama and Ma had brought Celia home and Mama was sitting on the ottoman trying to call Celia to her.
I literally lost it. I feel bad for both John and Cecelia because I know I scared them to death. I was almost screaming sobbing. Celia jumped up on the couch and threw herself on me, then got down ran away, got something and came back. She had gone to get a sock she had taken off because she knew where it was. John was frozen with that “what the hell have I done” look. She jumped back in my lap, started wiping my tears with the dirty sock and started singing the Barney song. “I Love You, You Love me, We’re a Happy Family”. Later John said it was one of those moments that had it not been completely inappropriate, he would have turned the camera on to tape it, but it would end up being a video that people would always say, “who in the world would actually tape that?”
My sweet baby girl warms my heart in so many more ways than I could have ever imagined. She is my world and keeps me completely sane. Love you Celia!!