Thursday, December 29, 2011

Due Date

Beautiful Baby,

Today was your due date. I should be complaining of swollen feet or how heavy you are in my belly. Instead, I am thinking of what might have been. Instead of being giddy about your pending arrival, I will watch the clock today because at 10:40 AM your grandma has been holding you for six weeks in heaven. I am writing this through tears streaming down my face at work, but still somehow I manage to smile thinking about this. I will be sad today and that is OK, but I do smile at the thought of seeing grandma holding her baby up there and you and your siblings because I know that's where you are. I am so very grateful that I beleive in Him because I don't know how I would get through it without that Belief. So while I am sad and you will see tears, there is also hope. It's hard to remember that most of the time, but I promise I will try harder.

Mommy loves you with everything I have (lol.... to those of you who know why that is funny)

Wish you were here..............

1 comment:

  1. oh joy, i love what you said about being thankful you believe. the strength we gain from him and prayer is a true blessing. it must be so bittersweet to know your Mom and baby are together in heaven. you are always in my thoughts and i'm sorry you have had a very trying end of the year. though, i know you are a strong woman and this will only make you stronger. <3
    i came here to wish you a very happy 2012 and i truly wish you and your family the best of the best in this coming new year. you've been a wonderful friend, joy!
    maria <3