Sunday, January 8, 2012

What is normal?

I have lost many people who mean a lot to me, but never someone as close as my Mom. Should I expect this to last forever? I have a slight history of depression. Nothing too bad, but I had a few years in my early teens that I probably would have benefited from meds. I know that I am not anywhere near that again, but for those of you who have lost parents, how long should I let this go.

I feel fine some of the time. And then I have days that absolutely everything makes me cry. I sit at my desk some days and begin to silently sob. WTW!!! When will I ever get to the point that the good days outweigh the bad?

1 comment:

  1. I know it doesn't seem like it....but it will come. I hated with people say things to me "one day you'll only think of the good, and won't think of the fact that she's not here anymore"...I thought, how can I NOT think about the fact that I no longer have my mother here with me? My son's Nana? Its been five years. And I still have days where it consumes me....but I also have days where I can't help but smile in thinking about her and what she would be saying/thinking if she were still here with me, and of good times together. Everyone is different in their grieving, and we all have our very dark times....Right around Thanksgiving this year I was practically useless...grief consumed me and things got very dark and sad....but you have your family to help pull you up by your bootstraps and bring you back into your reality and your life now. I hate to be one of those people I hated that would always say positive things about the worst thing that ever happened to me...but honestly, sincerely, it will get easier. As mush as it sucks to think that...because really, sometimes I thought "easier" meant forgetting, and her memory not being as fresh in my mind....but it doesn't. Its just different memories. <3